“Feeding the Poor”

Nestled near Central Avenue and Northern, in Phoenix, Arizona, is the “Crossroads United Methodist Church.”

On Saturday mornings, around 7:30 am they begin lining up. The Homeless; the Un-wanted; the Un-kempt; the “Disposable People.” It’s breakfast time and there is a flurry of activity to serve everyone. The coffee line is long on this chilly morn, but moves quickly.

They arrive by bus, by bicycle, or simply walking. Some appear with their companion animals. All are treated with respect, dignity, fairness, and a healthy dosing of a non-judgemental attitude.

Yet, this simple act of Christian Charity is endangered. These people aren’t wanted there for a host of reasons. Foremost, is the proximity to an affluent neighbourhood.

Amidst the backdrop and tumult of the world, this church and its outreach to the poor and destitute of our modern society, finds itself the centre of controversy from the city of Phoenix, alleging a violation “based on the Religious Land Use and Institutionalised Persons Act of 2000 (”RLUIPA”)

In a press statement released by the church and the ministry’s director Mike Ricker, it states:

“The City of Phoenix is taking a stance that extends far beyond Crossroads and threatens religious freedom in general. The city is purporting to use its zoning jurisdiction to regulate whether, and to whom, food can be served as part of a worship service. The sharing of food and drink has deep roots in the Christian faith, and is part of of the tradition of Judaism, Islam and other faiths around the world. By trying to regulate when food can and cannot be served in the middle of a religious service, the City of Phoenix is interfering with a sphere that has, until now, always been recognized as the exclusive “business” of the faithful.”

Is the The First Amendment right to Free Speech and Free Association being tested? The church thinks so, and others as well.

So how does this simple act of charity become the “lightning rod” for a law suit? In the cry of the Realtor’s credo: “LOCATION! LOCATION! LOCATION!”

It’s too close to a neighbourhood that continuously disdains the plight of the homeless in America. Black, White, Hispanic, Poor: all are welcome here. But the church is 2 miles away from a wealthy pocket of homes and well THESE people’s misfortunes seem to be their own, and they [and the City of Phoenix] just want the problem to “Go away! Disappear! Vanish!”

By 10:30 am, everything on the church grounds is packed up, and the area returned to a pristine state. You’d never know they were there.

Perhaps the residents might well be advised to see how some of their fellow citizens actually live. But the street smells and stains, and their lack of influence, means that they will continue to be an unseen and unheard voice in the landscape of the American Political Agenda.

The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’ ” (Matt 25:35-40 NIV)

Wayno Guerrini
PhotoJournalist
internationalpress.com

Several emails greeting me this evening – but this was the net result:

My “soulmate” (for lack of a better word) — Jeff is undergoing some extreme things. He is about to lose his loved one to cancer. She has maybe a week to go.

Jeff decided to do hospice at home, where she would be more comfortable. They live in Downey, Ca. I really don’t know how much help I can be, but I’ve always told him I’d be there for him, no matter what. A commitment we made to each other, over a decade ago. (For background info ) see here.

He asked me to come out, and of course, I’ll do it. Time/Date to be specified.

But this is tough.

So I ask prayers for guidance, wisdom, comfort, solace, and understanding. This is very hard for Jeff.

I will prolly be there a week or so. My kitties may need looking in on once, while I am gone. I don’t know when I’ll be going. I am going to check with my friend Elizabeth to see if she can look in on the kitties.

Jeff is trying to get things settled with Brenda for now, at the same time, trying to make funeral arrangements. I am NOT looking forward to this, but it’s a commitment I made. I have done funerals before. It is an honour to be asked to do this.

My primary focus, will be to support Jeff and his family.

On a positive note — I have heard from Robb early today – my Friend in Indiana, with Colon Cancer. Everything looks good, and they are going to proceed with reversing the colostomy in a few weeks. So that is an answer to prayer.

We’re blessed here NOT to be shovelling snow (can’t shovel sunshine!). But we’ll pay for it this summer, I’m sure.

and so it goes….

Wayno

For those of us who suffer the stigma of Mental Illness:

This is a great video on Mental Illness

From suprisingly: Glen Close Bring Change 2 Mind

You may find my Annotated FAQ on Depression helpful.

Wayno

All God’s Children

A Worship Service for Children and Families with Autism/Down’s/ADHD/ADD/PDD-NOS and other Physical and Developmental Disabilities in Tucson, Arizona.

I saw a news clip on December 18, 2009 on ABC’S World News Tonight (yes Charlie Gibson’s last broadcast as anchor) that really inspired me.

John Donvan’s story on Autism. In it, he showed how a barber shop, a movie theatre, a restaurant , and a church are accommodating Autism and Autistics.

Why not us? I have Aspergers Syndrome (High Functioning Autism), and as you know from reading my blog posts, I am able to teach.

People have labelled those of us with Autism, as “Disposable People.”

This clip has inspired me!

Starting on April 11, 2010, (week after Easter) and every 2nd and 4th Sunday, from 2:00 pm – 2:30 pm at Drexel Heights Baptist Church we will have a worship service specifically addressed to meeting the spiritual needs of “All God’s Children”

The service will be conducted by Wayno Guerrini, who has Asperger’s Syndrome.

Thanks for the inspiration, Mr. Donvan.

Wayno

“The Little Things”

Wayno Guerrini

October 14, 2009

(Steve N. Circa 1977)

Is it possible to measure a man by things he did in his youth?

I am re-acquainting myself with someone who is definitely an “Old Friend” after several decades.

This person, while on the sideline of my life for years, made profound influences. Not by doing something great, wonderful, or earth shaking. It was in the tiniest, most fragile of things, we often find memories which remain as indelible as ink.

I met Steve while I was working with the Federal Aviation Administration in Palmdale. Not unlike my present surroundings here in Tucson, the Antelope Valley in California is also a desert environment.

The things that I remember most about Steve, were his un-yielding smile and enthusiasm, attention to God, and prayer. He always had a smile on his face, rarely a frown, and a kind word on his lips. Steve was neighbourly. He was also, quite humble.

Steve seemed to have three passions: A love for the outdoors (especially climbing), painting, and tea.

I have shared in all of these passions.

The only time I’ve ever been rock climbing was with Steve at a place called “The Devil’s Punchbowl.” While I nearly passed out from exhaustion, Steve was able to get me to safety, and I survived to tell the tale. I still have a rope burn scar on my right hand. A reminder of the incident.

I remember hiking through the Yosemite Valley with Steve and some friends. Hours of what seemed like arduous and tedious driving. Made worth it in the first few moments upon seeing one of the natural wonders of the world.

Steve’s passion for life, drove me into a life long involvement of doing Youth Ministry. (http://www.outcastpress.org and a Facebook group I help moderate: Christian Goths) I have always worked with kids. Steve was far from being a kid at the time, but that impish grin of his sometimes betrayed his appearance.

Steve’s second passion is painting. I never knew if Steve would become a successful artist, but he showed remarkable talent. I’ve been fortunate in having one of Steve’s early paintings, adorn the living room of every place I’ve lived for over three decades now.

A daily reminder of my youth, and time well spent with an “old friend.”

But in the most humblest of offerings, Steve’s true nature was born.

Tea. Steve had what I surmised, to be the largest collection of loose Tea. We’re not talking “Lipton” here.

The very first time I’d ever heard of “Earl Grey Tea” — was not someone saying: “Tea! Earl Grey! Hot!” Rather it was Steve saying: “You ought to try this!” And so with care, he brewed a couple of cups. We sat and talked, and I enjoyed my first cup of “real tea.” Ahh. The little things. The one’s that you never forget.

To this day, when I have a cup of tea, I am always reminded of Steve’s humble circumstances, and this precious gift.

“I tell you the truth, anyone who gives you a cup of water in my name because you belong to Christ will certainly not lose his reward.” (Mark 9:41 NIV)

And so it goes…..

Wayno

The key to an unshakable faith is to build intimacy with God. The most important relationship that you need is the one with God, Almighty. He wants us to come to Him and get to know Him. Has your desire to know Him increased since you first met? Do you yearn to spend time with Him? Do you trust Him only in difficult times? I’m surprised when I hear professing believers say that spend a few minutes a day with the creator of the universe. Then when their world is rocked, they fall apart. God wants us through our Lord Jesus Christ to grow in Him. As we grow our faith increases as well. If you’re a Christ-Follower you should have grown since you first in trusted in Christ. Believers in Christ have no excuse for not growing in grace and knowledge. Our two older grandsons loved that infant formula, when they were babies. But, today if you see them eat, they require something more that just milk. They could not survive on [baby food] alone, their bodies needed more. As believers in Christ most of us need to get off the milk of the word. We were not made to live on milk of God’s Word. There are ways you can gain intimacy with God. When you and God get alone, daily. Then when you meet with other believers in a small group setting. If your a man or woman this is the time of the year when you can commit in being part of our Men’s/Women’s group this fall.

Touching lives, so that others can grow,
Dan Gutierrez, pastor-teacher

Finances

Our offerings for the last couple of months have been very low – to low. According to a recent article on the subject of stewardship. R.C. Sproul states; “Ninety- six percent of professing evangelical Christian regularly, systematically, habitually, and impenitently rob God of what belongs to Him. It also means that ninety-six percent of us are for this reason exposing ourselves to a divine curse upon our lives. The overwhelming majority of professing evangelical Christians do not give an offering /tithe.” If this stat is true we are part of that issue. If your giving – thanks a million we really mean it. If your not giving stop robbing God and your self from allowing Him to use you. DHBC is not sponsored or supported by any other church or organization. We depend on donations from those who call DHBC their home church.

Amidst world-wide tumult, recession and uncertainty, a pudgy, dowdy, ordinary looking woman appeared on the stage of “Britain’s Got Talent,” on April 11, 2009.

Virtually unknown to anyone outside her small Scottish village, by all appearances, this would be quite the gaff.

Bullied as a child, she grew up with several learning disability’s. “Simple Susan” as she was known.

She worked only a few months, and lives in a council house (government sponsored), with her 10 year old cat, “Pebbles.” She took care of her mother, who died at the age of 91 in 2007.

No one thought she’d amount to anything.

The music began to play. The judges already had a pre-conceived notion, that she would squawk on stage.

What happened next, was truly remarkable.

The judge’s faces went completely blank. Was this not the same woman? Her voice betrayed her appearance. Instead of a puny, clucking sound, they heard no squawks. A beautiful voice emerged from this 47 year old woman. “Les Miserables” — “I Dreamed a Dream” with full bravado.

Could it be? Yes! A precious gift had just been given to the world.

I have watched the videos several times. She never disappoints. She sings from the heart. Deep, rich, emotionally heart-wrenching songs. For her semi-final, she sang “Memory” for Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Cats.”

Songs that touch the very soul of man. Embeds itself in one’s essence, and does not diminish with time.

God granted to us the gift. Susan Boyle’s voice.

Cats – Memory Lyrics

Midnight – not a sound from the pavement.
Has the moon lost her memory,
She is smiling alone.
In the lamp light, the withered leaves collect at my feet,
And the wind begins to moan.

(Memory – all alone in the moonlight.
I can smile at the old days,
I was beautiful then.
I remember the time I knew what happiness was.
Let the memory live again.)

Every street light seems to beat a fatalistic warning.
Someone mutters and the street lamp gutters,
and soon it will be morning.

Daylight, I must wait for the sunrise.
I must think of a new life,
And I mustn’t give in.
When the dawn comes tonight will be a memory too,
And a new day will begin.

(Burnt out ends of smoky days,
the stale cold smell of morning.
The street lamp dies, another night is over,
another day is dawning.)

Touch me, it’s so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun.
If you touch me, you’ll understand what happiness is.
Look, a new day has begun.

(consulted in this article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susan_boyle)

Wayno Guerrini
May 24, 2009

There Must Be More Than This

Thank you, Tim Hughes, for expressing in song what we’ve often felt but seldom voiced. The average church experience only satisfies those who don’t read the scriptures. But those who have meditated on the book of Acts attend Christian meetings and agree with Tim:”there must be more than this.”
Is there any logic in believing that God started His church as a Spirit-filled, loving body with the intention that it would evolve into entertaining hour-long services? Was He hoping that one day people would be attracted to the church not because they care for one another, not because they are devoted to God, not because the supernatural occurs in their midst, but because of good music and entertainment?
As elders at Cornerstone Church, we’re constantly asking: Does this make sense biblically? We try to imagine what conclusions we would come to if we had no prior church experience. We’ve been discovering that some of the things we were doing make sense to the American church-attender, but they don’t make sense biblically.
Try it. Picture yourself on an island with only a Bible. You’ve never been to a church-you’ve never even heard of one. The only ideas you have about church are what you’ve read in your Bible. Then you enter a building labeled “church” for the first time. What would you expect to experience as you entered that building? Really take some time to think this through. Now compare that to what you actually experience when you attend “church.”
A while back, an ex-gang member got baptized at Cornerstone. He fell in love with Jesus and turned from his old lifestyle. After several months at the church, he stopped attending. When we asked him why he stopped attending, he answered: “I had the wrong idea of what church was going to be like. When I joined the church, I thought it was going to be like joining a gang. You see, in the gangs we weren’t just nice to each other once a week-we were family.” That killed me because I knew that what he expected is what the church was intended to be. It saddened me because I realized that the gangs paint a better picture of loyalty and family than the local church body does.
But what if the church looked like this?
“They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” Acts 2:42-47
That describes what the ex-gang member was looking for. It describes what the world is waiting for. I wish I could have been a part of that first church. Don’t you? I used to look at this passage as something that was wonderful but could never happen in Southern California in the 21st century. There are just too many cultural obstacles for the Holy Spirit to overcome. He is powerful enough to raise the dead, but not powerful enough to form a sharing and loving body in our individualistic society. I doubted God’s ability to stir a body of believers to love tirelessly and give without restraint. I reasoned that this type of fellowship was probably not intended for our time. Besides, we don’t have time to love like this.
Looking back, I wonder if I came to those conclusions because there was a part of me that wasn’t sure I wanted it. It’s interesting how much our theology is driven by desire.
There came a point when the elders at Cornerstone concluded that there was no reason why God wouldn’t want the church to look like it did in the beginning. From there we reasoned that if God wants that, then we want it too. But the exciting part came when we resolved not to settle for anything less. We would pursue this for His church regardless of how many would be turned off and move to other churches. If this is God’s standard, then we will one day give an account for how we led His people toward the biblical model.
But where do we go from here? Now comes the hard part: answering the question of how. There are probably many who want our churches to function like the early church, but how do we get there?
Start with what you can control.
In other words, start with yourself. It’s wrong to blame others for the condition of the church. And it’s silly for leaders to blame followers. God wasn’t satisfied when Adam blamed Eve or when Eve blamed the serpent.
The elders at Cornerstone started with what we could control. We can’t control other people. We can’t make the people at Cornerstone “break bread in their homes” or “sell their possessions.” We also can’t control God. We can’t make Him do “wonders and miraculous signs” through us. I can’t conjure up miracles just because I want to. I can, however, sell my possessions as people have needs. I do have control over that, so that became the logical first step. As we do our part, we trust God to bring about the “awe” and “wonders” in His time.
It was a beautiful time of sharing as our elders laid “everything” at each other’s feet. We surrendered the keys to our cars, homes, and bank accounts. I actually believed the elders who looked me in the eyes and said, “What’s mine is yours. If anything ever happens to you, I will support and care for your kids as much as I would care for my own. I will be your life insurance.” And because they had a history of genuine sacrifice for the sake of the gospel, I trusted what they said. From there, we began going to some of our friends in the congregation and expressing our commitment to them (something anyone can do).
And now this mentality is spreading. New life is permeating the church as individuals are backing up their words with sacrifice. Cars and homes are being sold or given away. Expensive vacations are joyfully replaced with spending on others. People are being taken into homes-not only for meals, but to live. It’s still the beginning of the process, and most people probably still come for the teaching or music, but there’s a growing number at Cornerstone who are coming to be with their church family and don’t care about who’s teaching or leading music.
Why are you telling me this? I’m just a worship leader.
I’m assuming you believe that part of your job is to lead the congregation into a time of corporate worship. I’m guessing your desire is that God would see a group that is “like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose,” passionately worshiping Him. Services are not about individuals worshiping the Lord, but about a body coming together to do so. If our gatherings are no different than our personal devotional time, then there’s no reason to gather. Your job is to help them understand that they have come together as a body, as a people, as something greater than themselves. This is no small task: most people come only as individuals in search of personal enrichment. That’s why you need to be a part of developing a family mindset throughout the week.
It is your responsibility to remind them they are “a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light” (1 Peter 2:9). God is looking for a “people,” a “priesthood,” a “nation” to declare his praises. His agenda was to display His glory through “Israel,” not “Israelites.” He wants the church to come together-not as individuals, but as members of one “body” committed to the “common good” (1 Corinthians 12).
As a worship leader, you want people to encounter God. This can’t be accomplished just by good music and well-timed key changes. It’s the by-product of witnessing a group of people deeply committed to one another in love. First John 4:12 puts it plainly, “No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” No one has physically seen God, but we can give people a glimpse of Him when we love. And that’s what we want to see as the church gathers: a glimpse of God.
For unbelievers, it’s this glimpse of God displayed through unity that will bring them to faith. That’s why Jesus prayed, “I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me” (John 17:23).
Back to the point: There must be more.
Something real was happening in the early church. It was something of the Spirit too powerful to be replicated by human effort. Imagine taking a friend to one of their church gatherings. Your friend might not experience a smoothly run, professional service. But one thing he would experience: GOD. Do we even need to ask which is better? So much of church growth today has nothing to do with the Holy Spirit. The right team of talented people can make any church grow. When people sit through creative services, is it really God they’re experiencing?
Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that we shouldn’t give our best to God. If you’re a musician, work diligently at your music. If you’re a teacher, labor intensely over your messages. I’m just asking you to be willing to rethink what you’re doing and ask: How can we create a more biblical environment where people see and experience God?
I’m reminded of the story of Gideon in Judges 7. He tells Gideon “‘You have too many men for me to deliver Midian into their hands. In order that Israel may not boast against me that her own strength has saved her, announce now to the people, “Anyone who trembles with fear may turn back and leave Mount Gilead.”‘ So twenty-two thousand men left, while ten thousand remained.” If you remember the story, God then reduced the army to 300 soldiers. God did not just defeat the Midianites-He was careful to do it in a way that gave Him all the glory. He did not want to allow Israel to boast “that her own strength has saved her.”
May people see our churches and know that mere human beings could not have created what they experienced. May we seek the priorities of the early church and trust God to once again produce the fruit of the early church.
“And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” Acts 2:47
There must be more than this
Oh breath of God come breathe within
There must be more than this
Spirit of God we wait for you
Fill us anew we pray
Fill us anew we pray
Consuming Fire
Fan into flame
A passion for your name
Spirit of God
Fall in this place
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way with us
Come like a rushing wind
Fill us with power from on high
Now set the captives free
Leave us abandoned to your praise
Lord let your glory fall
Lord let your glory fall
(Tim Hughes, Kingsway Music)

Someone asked me to post this — an oldie but goodie

Wayno

———-

“A friend in Need”

by

Wayno Guerrini

02/16/92

His mind was a tiny island amidst a sea of turmoil. He had known
only anguish and pain for the last several months. What was God
doing in his life? Why was he suffering so? He had never known
such emotional pain in his life. Where was God? Was there even
a God?

His whole system of beliefs had been shaken to the core. Would
he turn away from God completely, or would he embrace God 100%
with his life?. Eternity was in the balance.

He had been a Christian for nearly 20 years now. He had
undergone several tests and trials, but nothing like this. He
was afflicted physically. He was no longer able to work, so he
lost his job. He applied for worker’s compensation since it was
a work related injury. Due to a foul up at the insurance
company, he hadn’t seen any income in two months. Bills were
piling up. He couldn’t apply for disability or unemployment,
because the problem had to be straightened out with the insurance
carrier first.

His marriage was in shambles. They had tried to re-finance their
house several months earlier to help pay some bills. But when it
finally came down to signing the paper work, they lost out
because he was no longer employed; he had lost his job just two
weeks before signing the paper work.

He opened the mail one morning to find he was being sued for
$5,000 by his ex-tenant for evicting him. (Although the tenant
was several thousand dollars in arrears on rent). He couldn’t
understand that. At a time when he needed help and prayer, one
of his closer Christian friends was off enjoying “the pleasures
of sin for season.” The stress created from all these problems
caused a resurgence of his bleeding ulcer. All he was able to
eat was baby food while his ulcer healed. He FELT alone.

The night became his enemy. He remembered those verses from Job,
all to well: “so I have been allotted months of futility, and
nights of misery have been assigned to me. When I lie down I
think, `How long before I get up?’ The night drags on, and I toss
till dawn. (Job 7:3,4 (NIV)). Even sleep had become futile.

He looked at his calendar. It was Tuesday. “Bible Study night”,
he mumbled. He looked at his notes, but he didn’t really need
them. He had gone through the material a few weeks ago, and it
was still pretty fresh in his mind. He knew God in his head, but
he had NEVER known God in his heart. When he needed God the
most, he FELT as if God were galaxies away.

He got into his car and drove the short distance to the home
where he would be teaching that night. He sure didn’t FEEL like
teaching the study. Only one person there tonight. Jon.

He had meet Jon a few month’s earlier, and began working with
him. Jon was a baby Christian, about 6 month’s old. They had
taken an immediate liking to each other. Jon was a typical 21
year old long haired “metalhead.” He had given his life to
Christ a few months ago. Bill was now trying to help him grow in
his faith. “FAITH!” he thought. “If I could only have FAITH,
maybe God will help me to weather this storm.”

Bill and Jon began their lesson that evening on grace. Bill’s
mind was seething in torment all this time. He said all the
right things, but his heart was raw. He was 40 years old. He
had been a Christian for 20 years, and supposedly knew it all.
But all he had was a knowledge of God in his head, but his heart
was totally empty of God’s love and mercy. He continued the
lesson for 15 minutes. At last he could stand the pain no
longer. He wondered, “Would Jon FEEL any differently about him,
if he shared what was happening in his life?” Could Bill risk
exposing his vulnerability this way? What would he think? A 20
year Christian that doubts God’s existence. That doubt’s that
God even loves him? His head told him that he should suffer in
silence. But the pain in his heart grew ever stronger. He was
about to explode.

Bill decided to risk it. He needed a friend more than ever. One
who would understand his pain; one who would show mercy. He had
to risk sharing this with Jon. Even if it meant destroying a
friendship. His tormented soul, writhing in pain, could be
silenced no longer.

“Jon,” he said. “I…I gotta share somethings with you. I need
your friendship more than ever now.” Bill began pouring his
heart out to Jon. A 40 year old child of God, to a 21 year old
child of God. “Would Jon understand this? God,” he prayed he
would.

Jon looked at Bill and said, “I understand. I too am going
through a lot of the same hurts in my life. Of all the people I
have met here at Calvary Church, you alone are the only one who
has ever shown a real interest in me.” Bill looked puzzled. He
never realised his life had ever made an impact on anybody. He
was hearing this for the very first time in his life.

Bill began to sob uncontrollably now. Jon came over, and took
Bill in his arms, and hugged him. Bill realised that night, that
God will use anyone in his life to teach him, if he would be
open and humble to God using that person. He realised that for
too long his FEELINGS toward God, were stronger than his BELIEFS
in God. He needed his BELIEFS to be an anchor in his life, so
he could withstand the negative tide of emotion that had entered
his life from time to time.

For the first time in his life, Bill knew in his heart that he
was fully and completely loved by God. He had used Jon to convey
that message. He knew that God would now work in his life to
bring about the spiritual healing he had been crying out for, and
so desperately wanted. He was reminded of that verse in Psalm
32: “Many are the woes of the wicked, but the LORD’s unfailing
love surrounds the man who trusts in him.” (Psalm 32:10 NIV)

God demonstrated his love and mercy that night to Bill through
Jon. Bill continued to embrace Jon, and through a flood of tears
he finally said to Jon, “I love you, Jon.” Jon, continuing to
embrace Bill said, “I love you Bill, and so does God. Don’t ever
forget that.”

Ed note — This story although fictional, is based on actual real
life experience’s by the author. Unfortunately, all the bad
things in this story, are true, and occurred ALL at the same
time. If your struggling with your FEELINGS and your BELIEFS in
God, this is normal. We need to understand what it is we
BELIEVE. God doesn’t ask us for blind faith!

I am thankful to my many friends, whose prayers have and STILL
ARE sustaining me through this. To date, these problems have NOT
all been resolved. I need to single out two people whose time
and efforts in helping me through this time in my life were,
examples of going that extra mile.

First is my best friend, Brad Bracher. We have known each other
for 15 years. I have realised that this friendship has been just
one of God’s gracious gifts to me. Thank you Brad
for your many prayers, and for your time.

I am also thankful to Pastor Bob Beeman, of Sanctuary. His
guidance led me to a book called “Wisdom Hunter” by Randall
Arthur (Quester Publications). This book helped me to understand
the differences between my FEELINGS toward God, and my BELIEFS in
God. Thanks Bob, for your many prayers.

Getting this question a lot — reposted here for the Facebook Crowd.

========

From the Old Sanctuary San Diego Site, circa 1997

Question # Eight.
Can a Christian Be Gothic? (Pastor Ed’s response)

Answer:

This is a personal question to me, so I will address what
being “gothic” means to me and why I have chosen to
embrace this lifestyle. Let me start by explaining how and
why I became a “goth.” I jokingly say that my dear friend
Chase sired me to the “dark side,” because he was the
first one to introduce me to this culture. I became
“gothic” during a time of extreme sadness in my life. I
was surrounded by others who were telling me to just be
happy and I could not. I found solace in the dark sounds
of Love and Rockets and Bauhaus. In the Cure, I found
honesty of emotion, something I desperately needed.

When I became “saved” I noticed that while I had the
“light of the world” in my life, I was still an outsider.
I could not adapt to the cookie-cutter Christian model.
Eventually, I discovered Sanctuary and truly found it the
right place for my soul. Now I am a Shadow Dweller,
lurking with a candle, holding it out to others, sharing
the light and the love of God to those who are also living
in the shadows.

It is hard to understand the real meaning of who/what a
goth is if you are not a part of this scene. To me gothic
is more than a fashion choice or a music preference. It is
an attitude of how one views the world we live in. Some
choose to look at life from a very shallow point of view,
i.e., “life is one big party and fun is the big goal in
life.” Others see it from a “yuppie” perspective, looking
for their identity in their work, money, possessions, etc.

Life from a “gothic” point of view is one that is bleak
and somber, thus the dark appearance and style of dress.
The world is dark to me, because it’s so far from God’s
holy plan and design, that it saddens me greatly. I
express my somberness to the world by my style of dress
and demeanor. I relate to the prophet Jeremiah regarded by
most as the Weeping Prophet.

Being gothic to me is also being real real with myself,
real with others, and real with God. I do not hide behind
a mask to hide who I am and how I truly feel. When I am
happy I express it fully, and when I am sad I express that
as well. Most goths express their bleak sadness openly and
I see that as an honesty of humanity.

I admire the culture for it’s open and honest expression
of self, no matter how perverse or strange, because this
is how God sees us. We cannot hide our sins from Him and
it is foolish to think we can. In “normal society,” people
seem so concerned with appearances, they hide their true
selves in order to gain the favor of others. This
mask-wearing is accepted, yet stark honesty is often
shunned, even by those in the church. This is truly sad.

You see, being gothic is more than a fashion statement or
a certain style of music. It is a reflection of how one
chooses to see the world. This world is lost, hell- bound,
and full of people in complete denial, seeking to fill
that God-shaped void within them with everything except
the Cross. It is a world lacking in honesty of self or
honesty toward others. If I were to be anything but
“gothic” in my views, I would be among the mask-wearing
hypocrites. So I wear black and tell others who will
listen that the world is empty and bleak. Yet it does not
have to be. Though we live in the darkness, we are not of
it. Thanks be to God for that.